Empty Arms

4th day CNY

Today is the 4th day of CNY. Mummy brought Koko Jayvin to Mummy's friend's house (Uncle U) & to 2 temples to pray in the morning. In the evening, we visited Great Grand Mama again.

Daddy & Uncle S arrived in KB in the morning of 2nd day of CNY & started their 2 weeks 4WD adventure yesterday morning. Koko Jayvin miss Daddy so much yesterday & every night whenever he is away from Daddy - "forever superglue".

Open House

We are organising open house in KB today (28 Jan 09). It is a yearly event for us where we will host in on the 3rd day of CNY. This year, we are serving local delicacies such as the popular Kelantan dish - nasi dagang, Grandma's signature noodle etc. Relatives & friends came in since early morning till now. We are expecting more bigger groups of visitors soon ... Happy Chinese New Year, baby Rayvin.

Happy Birthday Grandma

Besides celebrating CNY, we also celebrated Grandma's birthday today. 'Koko' Jayvin loves birthday celebration & enjoy helping Grandma's blowing the candle & cutting the cake. He loves the Secret Recipe's birthday cake too - rich with chocolates & most important, full with his favourite 'nut-nut'. Happy Birthday, Grandma. We love u ...

Happy CNY

Rayvin, we are celebrating Chinese New Year today. Happy Chinese New Year, my handsome baby Rayvin.

In KB with Jayvin

Mummy & 'Koko' Jayvin flew back to Kota Bharu to celebrate CNY yesterday. 'Koko' was so active, cheerful & playful yesterday. However, today 'Koko' is a bit moody as he is having flu & cough. Mummy brought him to GP & the medications made him rather drowsy. We also visited Great-grandma & she was busy preparing CNY yummy delicacies. Today, it rained a couple of times & it has been many, many years since it rained during CNY. Well, this year of CNY is going to be a mixed of happiness & sadness - a sad reminder of my lovely baby Rayvin. Sleep well, my baby Rayvin.

6 Months Old

Baby Rayvin ... you are 6 months old today... supposed to be 6 months old today... It has been 6 months... 6 months... My baby is 6 months old today... Mummy miss u so much ...

Busy & Sad

Mummy has been busy lately. It's the new chapter of a brand new year. In the office, Mummy is rushing to complete all the necessary stuff before the long CNY break & at home, there are lots of washing, cleaning & moping required. In the mid of bustling & rushing, baby Rayvin is always on & off Mummy's mind. Tomorrow, u will be 6 months old. By 6 months, u should have lots of achievements by now. Oh.. that should be wonderful, but the fact is... it's terrible. Mu'mmy miss u so much, so much that it hurts so much...

Wish For A Better World Today & Tomorrow

Missing My Baby Rayvin

Today is just another ordinary day. Quick breakfast - hectic office - chaos lunch - home alone - dinner alone - wait for Daddy & 'Koko' Jayvin to come back home.

Missing my baby Rayvin more & more each day, especially now when it is very near CNY.

Congrats Aunty C

Mummy visited Aunty C today & they are celebrating their little princess full moon. Oh, Baby K is so cute & beautiful. Mummy had a chance to carry her & suddenly, Mummy had a mixed feeling. So excited & glad to be able to hold the little one after such a long, long time..., but also very sad. Sad & hurt. No words can express the feeling inside.

Mummy miss you so much baby Rayvin.

CNY Soon

Chinese New Year (CNY) is coming very soon. Every where is decorated with red themes & CNY songs. Mummy had been spring cleaning & decorating our house too. During the day, Mummy feel great & energetic, but when the night fall, Mummy is rather moody. Mummy miss baby Rayvin. CNY is supposed to be a celebration, happy family reunion with full of laughter & joy. Mummy feels terrible as Mummy was reminded with last year CNY where Mummy was proudly pregnant with baby Rayvin & this year, it will be nothing. My baby is gone forever. The worst part is Mummy has to act as if everything is ok & under control. So sad & life is tough...

The Other Side of Midnight

A very beautiful & touching poems dedicated to baby Rayvin. Mummy miss u so much, Rayvin.

The other side of midnight
Not so many miles away
Enrapped in hazy memories
Our new-born babies play

Tended safe by unknown hands
In a place we cannot see
Our babies live another life
From earthly cares set free

From the other side of midnight
They visit us in sleep
Caress our grief with infant hands
When in our dreams we weep

Through in our darkest days we seem
A million miles apart
In time we learn that other place
Is really in our heart

The other side of midnight
At last we learn to see
Our babies live within us
Cradled in our memory

(extracted from : http://www.mothers35plus.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=11206 )

MC

Still heart-sick & therefore took an MC. Physically & mentally exhausted. Luckily tomorrow going outstation to KB for 2 days. A breakaway from the office. So sad & tired...

Happy New Year 2009?

It has been 5 1/2 months since you were gone & today is the 5th day of year 2009. Nothing special to look forward to, except for going back home for Chinese New Year. Mummy even had celebrated the New Year eve with an argument with Daddy. Lately lots of thing goes wrong & had gone wrong. Mummy still had bad cough, flu & body ache since the past 2 weeks. Being informed that body is weak due to improper care during the confinement. Sigh... Working environment doesn't help much. In fact, today Mummy was extremely upset when being informed that the year 2008 MBO incentive was only 4k. My god! This is the worst ever record since the last 10 years. Maybe, it's a sign for Mummy to move on & not to think twice. On top of that, rather exhausted with the "acting" in the office & at home too. Sigh ...

Anyway, Happy New Year 2009 & hopefully after the CNY things will improve & be at the best. Mummy miss u, baby Rayvin.