1Y4M4W

Baby Rayvin is 1Y4M4W ...

It's so sad ...

Mummy miss baby Rayvin ...

Sweet dreams ...

Extended MC

Here I am again, wide awake in the middle of the night ...

Anyway, Mummy was granted an additional 2 weeks of MC. What a relief! Last 15 Dec, Mummy followed 'Kong Kong' & Grand 'Mama' to Kuantan, & of course with 'Koko' Jayvin too. We spent 2 nights there before heading up north to 'Kong Kong's' house in Kota Bharu. We visited Great Grandma's house too last Friday.

It rains a few rounds in a day here. Even though so, 'Kong Kong' still managed to find time to bring 'Koko' Jayvin into the village to expose him to the 'kampung' (village) environment & lifestyle. Jayvin had been happily chasing after the chickens, ducks, geese, seen horses, cows, coconut etc. which he will never find in the KL city. It's a wonderful arrangement & Mummy really appreciates it. Jayvin enjoys this 'balik kampung' trip ...

By the way, Jayvin is also fully occupied in the house with various toys - riding Horse, large excavator, large tractor, boat, train set, war play set, Astro Disney Channel, etc.

Normal ???

Grandma & 'Kong Kong' will be leaving soon. They had to go back to Kuantan again to take care of baby Veyron & make final preparation for 'Yiyi' K ROM end of this month. Time flies ...

Mummy has an appointment with the orthopaedics tomorrow & hopefully Mummy's knee will be fine, healing as supposed to be. Still a bit of pain while walking & hardly can walk (bending knee) without the Knee Immobiliser. Feel a bit awkward walking unassisted. Hmm ... is that normal ???

Mixed feeling now, worried, lonely, exhausted, sad, lazy, hate, insomnia ... Mummy still miss u, baby Rayvin ...

Wonderful Week

It had been a week since Grandma & 'Kong Kong' are here to lend a helping hand to Mummy. They are Mummy's helper, washer, cook, nanny for 'Koko' Jayvin, photographer, companion & everything ... It had been a wonderful week, not much time to think nonsense.

MIL & SIL are also very kind. They visited Mummy at the hospital & came over to the house again last Saturday. They even brought Jayvin out for shopping. Grandma & 'Kong Kong' also pampered Jayvin a lot, purposely took Jayvin on a train to Mid Valley as Jayvin loves train, bought him Ben 10 latest edition watch & a play house which Jayvin had always wanted.

Over the week, Mummy received many concern calls from loving family members, colleagues, ex-colleagues, long distance friends & long lost friends too ... It had been a great week. The fall is a blessing in disguise ... ???

Sweet Memories Stay

Received a sweet sms from a friend :
Time goes by so fast
Life asks so much
No wonder some people get out of touch
But in hearts
Deep true unseen relationship & sweet memories stay forever ...

Ray Of Sun

Mummy feels much better today. Grandma & 'Kong Kong' are coming over. Mummy badly needs the extra pair of hands. Being immobile makes one realise how important each & every part of the body ... Besides that, the company agrees to pay half of the hospitalization bill. That helps to lighten Mummy's financial burden.

Miss u & love u, baby Rayvin.

Tragic Fall

Mummy had a tragic fall Friday night on a slippery floor outside the bathroom. The impact was so great that the femur bone was dis align & the knee cap was dislocated. So much pain that Mummy realigned & put it back to the socket! Amazing! Don't really know how Mummy did it! Excruciating pain with cry without tears. Can't move at all, too painful to describe ...

Suffered the whole night with pain till early Saturday morning. Admitted for A&E in Sunway Hospital. X-ray revealed minimal injury with 3 scars on the femur bone, but the MRI revealed serious injury which require Knee Immobiliser, Cold Treatment & lots of bed rest.

The worst part of the experience is the company attitude towards staff benefit. Neglected!Mummy got to know that no hospitalization coverage was included only upon admission! Mummy had been calling the HR for confirmation & it was a YES, YES, YES till the very last minute, she said hospitalization is not covered! Adding salt to the injury! The total cost of 2D1N >RM2k.

It hurts physically & it hurts more now physically & emotionally ...

Here It Goes Again

Alone, in the gloomy little condo, nothing to do, no one to talk to & immobile ...

Here it goes again, trapped in the 'sarong', hardly can move & it sounds too familiar. It had just happened 1 year back! The old wounded memory flashed back ... Mummy just don't understand, life is cruel. It's not getting better, not getting anywhere ...

I miss my baby Rayvin, I miss him so much, I miss him even more now ...

Jayvin was bitten !

'Koko' Jayvin was bitten by a small little girl in school yesterday. The bite mark was rather clear & big !!! Luckily Jayvin did not beat the innocent girl, but according to the teacher, Jayvin was very upset & quiet after that.

Mummy was a bit shock, sad & hurt, but also proud that Jayvin behave very well & did not fight back unnecessarily. He is going to be a very good, responsible big 'Koko' ... Mummy loves u, 'Koko' Jayvin.

Counting ...

Counting the days ... 10 or 15th ???

Hmmm ... can I survive with very little fund ??? With my kind of lifestyle ???

Counting ... thinking ...

Cycling At Tasik Titiwangsa

Tired of shopping during the weekend, we brought 'Koko' Jayvin for a cycling session, back to the nature at Titiwangsa Lake. Beautiful lake garden overlooking the magnificent Petronas Twin Tower (KLCC). BTW, Jayvin learnt how to climb a tree today ...

Jayvin's 3rd Birthday

'Koko' Jayvin celebrated his 3rd birthday recently. Lots of presents from everyone. He even had 3 different birthday cakes to celebrate with. We first celebrated with 'Kong Kong', Grand Mama, 'Yiyi' Kereen & Daddy at home. Last Thursday, we had a birthday party at Jayvin's pre-school. He seemed to enjoy it very much. Yesterday was the actual date for his birthday (28 Nov) & we had a small little cake to celebrate at home, just with Mummy & Daddy.

"Jayvin, you are a big boy now - big, big 'gao' 'gao' 'Koko' Jayvin d ... " Mummy wishes you many, many more happy & beautiful birthdays ahead ...

1Y4M1W

My baby Rayvin is already 1y4m1w ... Mummy is so, so, so sad ... Can't sleep for the past few days ... so sad ...

Singapore 2-4 Nov

Went to Singapore for Geistlich Regional Distributor Training recently. It was held professionally which reminded Mummy of Roche. Had great time, good food, good learning but kept Mummy wondering how can Mummy tolerate all the no strategy nor planning current company ??? Feel like an idiot.

Decision

It had rain occasionally since a month ago. Bad traffic jam during office rush hour.

Mummy had slowed down tremendously lately. Follow the flow. Wondering if this suits Mummy? Can't imagine Mummy stays any longer here. Can't imagine how to grow the business & grow together here. No vision, only full of question marks?

Definitely the wrong company, but is it the right industry??? Mummy loves the implant business but it seems that it still has a long, long way to go. The industry is too small, too private, too conservative.

Think !!! Decision is on 30 Nov 2009 !!!

Complain, Complain, Complain

Mummy had just returned from Singapore. It was a tiring trip.
Life goes on. 'Koko' Jayvin still goes to school, reluctantly now. Headache for Mummy.
Office is madness. Every other day, there will be a lot of problem solving. Long pending issues, problematic issues, marketing plan, ... to look into. Add on, 'super-slow' boss & 'super-blur' staff. Headache, headache for Mummy everyday.
Realised that Mummy had been complaining, complaining. Is the situation so bad, or something wrong with Mummy ???

1313

My baby Rayvin is 1 year, 3 mth, 1 wk & 3 days old, but where ???

Tired

Tired to think, tired to dream, tired to hope, tired to plan, tired of crying & too tired to sleep ...

Just let it be, just let it be ...

Guilty

Mummy blew up 2 nights before. Had the 'attack' ... Beyond control ... Shocking !!!

Is that the reason why Jayvin suddenly behave so negatively? Is it Mummy's fault? Maybe ...

No School, No No

Since yesterday, 'Koko' Jayvin keep insisting not going to school anymore. He cried many rounds in school. Not willing to play with his friends, does not want to read, not co-orperating, just keep saying " I want Mummy, I want Mummy". As much as it feels good to hear that, Mummy is very worried.

Jayvin even agreed to give away his favourite "doggie" school bag, his "Cars" tumblers, etc ... to other children. When Mummy mentioned that Mummy will throw them away, he was OK with it. Mummy was sad & upset about it.

He had behaved well in school for the past 2 weeks, happily telling us he loves school. Woke up very early everyday ready for school & now he had been crying in school. Teacher told Mummy that he cried for a while today. Hmmm ... what should we do? Is it too early to send him to school?

Gloomy

Gloomy days with rain in the evening. Low energy, gloomy, disturbed, worried, sad, hopeless ...

Happy Weekend

Happy weekend for 'Koko' Jayvin. Playing bubbles, riding bicycle, eat ice-cream & a movie treat last weekend - Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs'.

To School

'Koko' Jayvin had finally attended school for the 1st time on 15th Oct 2009. Mummy had taken a 1/2 day leave to accompany him to school. He was very excited, woke up very early in the morning. Brushed his teeth, took bath & taken his milk bottle without fuss.

The Vital Years is situated near the South City Plaza, just a 15 min drive from home. Initially, 'Koko' Jayvin was a bit reluctant to let go of Mummy. After 15 min, he was OK. He found some friends, running & chasing around happily with them. The school is not very academic, more on a 'play-school', but it is ok as we want him to feel good, happy & eager to attend school. So far so good ...

Hi

Hello Baby Rayvin. Nothing much to update. Just wanna say "Hi, Mummy miss u & love u".

New Hair Cut

Mummy & Daddy brought 'Koko' Jayvin to a local Indian barber shop for a hair cut as requested by him this morning. It was his first hair cut at barber shop, as all this while Grandma helped to cut his hair. Actually he was afraid & objected every time we wanted to bring him over to the barber shop. We were lucky as there were 2 other children had their hair cut at that moment. Jayvin finally found his courage & his hair was being styled without much problems. He looks neat & smart. He is now ready for this Thursday school session. He is no longer Mummy's little baby, as he is a boy now ... a toddler to be exact.

Love U & Miss U

Love u & miss u so much baby Rayvin.

Veyron Full Moon 4 Oct 2009

We celebrated Veyron's full moon last Sun. Mummy was so impressed with 'Koko' Jayvin as he loves baby Veyron very much, willing to share his toys & help out too. Jayvin is a big boy now & Mummy is getting older now ...

Going To School

'Koko' Jayvin is going to school by next Thurs (15 Oct). Mummy had finally decided on Vital Years where it is more of a play school, mostly English speaking children & more relaxing environment. The tuition fee is actually the most expensive among the 4 centres which Mummy had surveyed earlier but Mummy wants 'Koko' to make friends, be more independent, helpful & able to share & express himself better, and not so much on the academic achievement. Let him be a child & enjoy himself freely as a child ... no stress, no worry ...

Luckily 'Koko' Jayvin is also excited with the idea of going to school.

Kuantan 2-5 Oct

Mummy & 'Koko' Jayvin were in Kuantan last weekend to celebrate baby Veyron's full moon. Wow, that was fast. Time flies ... Great grandma, Grandma, 'Kong Kong' & 'Yiyi' Kereen were also there. Even though it was just a short trip but 'Koko' Jayvin enjoyed himself. We took him to Swiss Garden pool, twice to Teluk Cempedak beach, fed the fishes & tortoise at the Buddhist Assoc. Mummy also managed to find some time to go for the massage session too. Hmm .. that was good.

Miss you, baby Rayvin.

School ?

Mummy went to survey some kindergarden for 'Koko' Jayvin last Monday. Q-Dees and Vital Years. 1 key lesson - it is so costly to enrol a child to kindergarden nowadays !!! Much more costly than my fees during my University days.

Today, Vital Years called up to say that finally there is a place for Jayvin. A student dropped out. Wow ! What a news, but now Mummy suddenly feels like not ready to let him go. Oohh, my baby has grown up but it's so hard to let go ... Funny right?

Grandma finally had assist to decide as Mummy can't make up the mind. We are going to survey another centre and we will decide from there. Therefore, Jayvin is still our little one at home, close by ...

Javyin - My Boy

Mummy brought 'Koko' Jayvin to Kuantan last Friday night, drove in the super jam & heavy rain. It was worth it as we had fun at the beach & the pool at Swiss Garden Hotel. Jayvin behaved well, 'took care' of little baby Veyron, 'helping-out' and surprisingly he is willing to give away his newly bought aeroplane as a gift to baby Veyron. That touches Mummy's heart.
Daddy came 2 days later & Jayvin started to 'super-glued' to Daddy. Became very 'kuk-pau'. Can be rather irritating at times, but seeing him enjoying his play & swim is very satisfying.

Life is totally different being a parent. You just see life from a different perspective. You stay on for the children as well. Wonder how long can Mummy stay on ...

Maybe

Maybe . . . it is true that we don't know what we have until we lose it, but it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing until it arrives.

Maybe . . . happiness waits for all those who cry, all those who hurt, all those who have searched, and all those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of all the people who have touched their lives.

Raya Mood

It's Raya mood everywhere in Malaysia. Shopping centres were jam packed like sardine last weekend, which will last till this weekend for the last minute Raya shopping.

Mummy plans to bring 'Koko' Jayvin to Kuantan to see new-born baby Veyron. Has not really make up the mind whether to drive down on Friday or Saturday. All highways will be congested by now till Raya anyway.

Mummy is still very busy this week, so many implant cases to see. Yeah, must keep the mind busy, busy, busy. This coming Wed counselling session is cancelled, therefore Mummy had actually missed the sessions for almost 2 months now. Sigh ...

Love you, baby Rayvin.

Brave 'Koko' Jayvin

Yesterday morning Mummy brought Daddy & 'Koko' Jayvin for the flu vaccination (Agrippal from Novartis) which Mummy had reserved since few weeks ago. With the H1N1 pandemics, all flu vaccines are high in demand. Jayvin was so brave & Mummy is so proud of him as he had not even cried or shouted when being jabbed. Jayvin is a big boy now ...

MIL & FIL also had their vaccination yesterday night. Invited them to our house too. It was a wonderful evening.

Emotional Week

An emotional week. Can't stop thinking of baby Angel Brianna & her family. Wish that they have strength to go through this challenging period.

High BP

Mummy had a pleasant field work with a colleague, David & a Pulpdent guest from US - Mr Larry yesterday. Larry is a 'special', wonderful, friendly and down-to-earth person. We 'blended' well.

However, towards the end of the day, Mummy's head was 'banging' hard & swinging terribly. We ended our day around 8pm. Upon reaching home, Mummy measured the blood pressure and it was 157/128 !!! That was critically high !!!

It was still high this morning with mild headache. However, Mummy still go to UKM as promised, to attend to an implant case. There were many challenges within the 2 1/2 hours of surgery, but it ended well. The highlight of the day was Mummy fall down flat at UKM ! Felt like an idiot for being so clumsy. That's life, with up and down, same as Mummy's BP ...

Mummy will always, always love you, baby Rayvin.

Come & Go

Babies come, babies go. Love is here, love is gone. It's a crazy world out there. A sad, sad week. An emotional week.

Attending counselling tomorrow & hopefully it helps.

Baby Angel Brianna

Baby angel Brianna (T-18) has joined baby angel Rayvin. It is a sad, sad day. Wish all the T-18 angels have pain-free, happy moment with laughter at the garden of Heaven. http://briannagiveshope.blogspot.com

Strained Relationship

It doesn't look good & will never be good. Nothing much to be done, nothing much to hope for. It's too late. Stay put and just do our best for 'Koko' Jayvin.

Welcome Veyron

'Yiyi' Dollin finally had given birth to a beautiful baby boy last Friday (4 Sept 09) - Veyron. Mummy did not have much chance to listen to the whole 'action' but glad that both mother and baby are doing fine. Welcome to the world, baby Veyron.

Singapore 3-5 Sept

Mummy is back. Singapore FDI business trip was rather tiring & confusing. So much things to learn & learnt ! So much surprises from Mr D. Upset, glad, confuse, angry, happy, enjoyable ... A memorable business trip for sure. Proud to say that the colleagues are a great bunch of people. However, too bad Mummy can't make it to visit baby Vera due to the unforeseen tight schedule. Hopefully the small little gift for Vera will cheer her up. http://mylittlevera.blogspot.com/

Shopping At Perth

Winter clothings, shoes for myself & Jayvin, books for Jayvin, chocolates & biscuits for everyone. I love shopping ...

Perth (27 - 31 Aug 2009)

Nice cooling weather, beautiful landscape, clean environment & peaceful lifestyle.

Packing & Unpacking

Mummy just came back from Perth, Australia 2 days ago. It was end winter, cool nice weather and great shopping experience. Took additional 1 day of unpaid leave yesterday just to take care of 'Koko' Jayvin & spent some quality time with him. Had not fully unpack the luggage & need pack again tonight. Mummy will be leaving to Singapore for FDI tomorrow morning & will only be back by late Saturday. Tired of travelling.

Mummy miss u, baby Rayvin. The Singapore working trip schedule seems to be rather tight but Mummy hopes to be able to catch up with a very special child - V.

To Perth

Mummy, Grandma, Grandpa & 'Yiyi' Kereen are leaving to Perth later tonight. The flight will be midnight today & will be reaching tomorrow early morning. We will be staying over at Auntie N's whom has migrated to Australia many years ago. Most of her children are also living in Perth. The trip will be a mixed of family gathering, holiday, sight-seeing & hopefully shopping too.
We will be back by 31Aug afternoon.
Miss you, baby Rayvin & 'Koko' Jayvin too.

Visit To GP

It had been 2 weeks since our visit to 'Koko' Jayvin's skin specialist and yet, his skin condition has not improved much. Last night was bad & he had been disturbing Mummy & Daddy for the whole night. The medication had finished few days ago & his itchiness was unbearable last night. He was so irritated & moody & disturbing !

Mummy brought him for a GP visit today. Took medication to prevent the itchiness, antibiotics & cream to be applied on both his limbs. His scars look rather bad.

Mummy had also booked 4 Agrippal - flu vaccine from Aventis. Hopefully, it helps to prevent the H1N1 which is getting more and more critical in Malaysia. Mummy had the shot earlier during the KB, arranged by 'Yiyi' Kereen. Thanks, Kereen. Really felt like "kiasu" and "kiasi" this time.

Mummy miss you, baby Rayvin.