Finally, its a non-working day for me as I currently provide consultation services from Mon - Wed onlly. Had started this arrangement since May 2021, with mind of getting into semi retirement after all the madness in corporate world. Thinking of some holidays to Japan, Russia and US once the Covid-19 situation improved. However, things do not go as planned.
Today, I have been laying around lazily, playing with my phones while enjoying the day to day moment. The pain has reduced, yet the numbness has increased significantly. From slight numbness in the heel, now it spreads to my ankle. A bit of numbness at my calf, posterior region too now. Sad & frustrated. Luckily, managed to pass motion slightly today. A suffering in mind and body.
😡Had a big fight with Jayvin yesterday again, can't tolerate his laziness & bad attitude. Really broke my heart, deep down inside. Having paid for his private school tuition fees at almost RM25k per annum for the past 3 years (Form 1 to Form 3), I just feel that all those money had gone to waste. It can be of better use and maybe, I will be able to go through the surgery by now, instead of in the long waiting list at government hospital.
Life has treated me kind most of the time, yet had given me 2 major sad incidence. Sometimes, u just wonder why...., why me, what had I done or gone wrong? 13 years ago, I lost my baby Rayvin & now, I lost my mobility and my future.
Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day, but who am I kidding? I wish to laugh at myself.
22/10 : Myself, lying down in the car as could not sit too long. On the way to TTDI to settle some banking issues.
On the lighter side, this is my favourite yummy Bak Chang (dumpling). Prepared by mom all the way from Kota Bharu. I miss my parent very much lately, maybe we always need our parent no matter how old we are. I am very sorry, very sorry that I am unable to take care of both of you when you are both older & weaker later. I promised both of you that I will be there, to support and become your caregiver last year, but I am terribly sorry that I am unable to fullfill that now. I am so disappointed at myself. Very disapointed ...ðŸ˜
CES robs your life, your hope, your dreams and your future. May I have the strength to go through it ... slowly, but steadily ...Love all of you forever 💕
No comments:
Post a Comment